my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
