Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
