I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
