glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
