Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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