If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize