i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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