My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
