Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
