We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
