I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
