I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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