Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
