wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
