This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
