So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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