38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
