you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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