you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
