put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
