You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
