I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
