I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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