i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
