the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it glows. i had to have it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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