Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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