should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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