i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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