I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
