Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
