Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
