alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
