sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
