just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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