My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We named our party play list daddy issues
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
