If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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