alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize