just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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