I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
