Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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