I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
