I'm going to jail i love you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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