The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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