FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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