I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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