oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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