just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
