Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
