i think my mom watched the whole time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
