Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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