I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
