So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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