I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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