This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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