NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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