If i come over, it means nothing
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
