I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
