Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
