You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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