if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
